Sunday 4 January 2009

Counselling and Confidence.

I have my first counselling session at 9.30 this morning, and I should really be in bed now. But I'm really pretty nervous. I've tried pretty hard to try and well, not exactly forget things. I'll never ever forget my Dad. It scares the life out of me that I might forget things that we did together, or laughs we had, or what his voice sounds like.
In one sense I dont want to talk about how I feel about missing him and not really being able to live without him, but then I do as well, I'll talk about my Dad to anyone who will listen. I'm positive I bore plenty of people by talking about him. But its my way of making him still be here.
I dont want to get upset, I dont want to cry and I dont want to have to deal with those feelings.
I know its the only real way to get better, but its just scaring me.
Then tomorrow I've got an appointment at the womens centre in town to do something about my confidence as far as I know.
I've got a friend that said she would go with me, but I dont know if its something I should do alone. I'm not really going to get anywhere having someone to hold my hand am I? Thats probably what my problem is, I dont step out of my comfort zone because it scares the crap out of me.

I hope its a step in the right direction, and the start to a more positive, confident personality and life.
x

2 comments:

Jane said...

Hannah,
I hope the councelling went okay. Thinking of you. I did get your card thank you very much. Loved bagpuss! lol

I am sure you will get there soon, take care, and look after yourself.

Jane :0) xx

Jane said...

Me again Hannah, let me know how you got on.

If you go to my blog there is an award for you.

Jane :0)
xx